Kübler-Ross & Self-Abnegation

34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. Mark 8.34-35

I was thinking about how people react when they realize Jesus doesn’t want them to keep their life, but lose it. I wondered if there are parallels to the grief stages of a patient with a terminal diagnoses. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has gives us the Five Stages of Grief:

1. Denial: The “This can’t be real” stage. “This isn't happening to me. This is a mistake.”
2. Anger: The “Why me?” stage. “How dare you do this to me?!”
3. Bargaining: The “If I do this, you’ll do that” stage. “Just let me go bury my father.”
4. Depression: The “Defeated” stage. “I can’t bear to face going through this.”
5. Acceptance: The “This is going to happen” stage. “I’m ready, I don’t want to struggle anymore.”

Do people go through these stages when faced with Jesus’ Call to Die as well? As pastors and leaders, can we become more acutely aware of people’s movements in the stages of Self-Abnegation? Can diagnosing these symptoms in a disciple help us better lead them through? Can diagnosing the symptoms in ourselves make us better "wounded healers"?

Does anyone else have pastoral experiences to affirm or deny this proposal?